Andean Condor

Andean Condor

With a wingspan of over 10ft, the Andean condor is a bird out of time. An ancient, large black vulture, it evolved to take advantage of a period in history when there were large herds of animals roaming the Americas, the last of which was the bison. It’s hung on in South America, but with the disappearance of such herds, its numbers are probably in terminal decline. I don’t necessarily regard its impending extinction as a bad thing  –  most of the animals which were around with them millions of years ago have long gone. In a way, it’s like a dinosaur bird.


I was dreaming of vampires existing in 2020 and the bats gave us a shitty line-up of micro-vampires. Not cool at all!

How to battle suicidal thoughts?

Everyone goes through depression and sad phases in life. As the pressure sets in, sometimes you might begin to distance yourself from everyone you know, because their sympathy and kind words don’t do any good to improve your circumstances. Or in some way, they might actually end up rekindling the emotions you’ve had a hard time burying, thus making things worse for you. Still, try your best to open up to the people in your life because it’d help fix the vacuum in your chest. Please consult a therapist if it gets too hard because it can be easier to handle with the help of counselling and medications.

But more often than sometimes, it is more like a war that you fight all alone. You will feel stranded, separated from the rest of the world. The weight gets heavier and heavier and it gets harder to breathe with time. Eventually, as the smothering gets severe, the worst case scenario is that you might feel like killing yourself, so that you could put an end to all the misery and desolation. At that juncture, no thought about life can please you. It is a very dark place. It is where suicides happen. 

It is very hard to find the words of consolation or reassurance that can make you step back once you’ve reached that point. There is no coming back from there because your mind goes into a blur and the physical pain of death won’t even seem to be much of a matter to you anymore. But before you decide to choke or bleed to death, do some crying until you feel some of the weight lifted off your chest. Hug your pillow while crying, if that makes you feel less lonely. As you get tired, convince yourself, “Get some sleep. Things might feel different in the morning”. Your mind will yield to even a hazy shred of hope in that state of utter hopelessness. Postpone the act of suicide and sleep through the hours of the night to reach the morning. 

When you wake up, your whole system will reboot and your spirit will feel a bit more alleviated. The lush of the morning will give you a change of heart. Life won’t seem as depressing, and you will be able to see clearer into the possibilities it has to offer. You’ll feel glad that you didn’t kill yourself the other night. Push yourself to sleep a lot when you’re having suicidal thoughts, sleep can reset your mind and can really tone down the intensity of the feeling and eventually you will be able to deal with it.

Sleep can give you the absolution you expect out of suicide with time.

 Trust me. Continue with this routine and you will heal in some time.

So my friend, the magic words are,

Survive the night and you’ll be reborn in the morning”,

Tell that to yourself every time your mind convinces you to end your life.


We have the first inner circle of family/few friends. We have a second inner circle of some friends/relatives. We have a third outer circle of many friends/people we just know. All these circles would count up to make between 50 to 500 people, depending on how influential, popular and extroverted you are. Every person has these circles and every person responsible for their circles cheer for the elites, superstars and celebrities who might never know them. I don’t mean it is bad to cheer for your favorite leaders/artists/scientists etc. Feel free to do it from time to time when you’re really feeling it. I mean they already have it in excess and you cheering would not matter that much to them. You would be just another voice in the crowd. You would be one among the million messages in their inbox that they’re never going to see. It is like giving to billionaires who have riches that are in vain no matter how lavish a lifestyle they choose to lead, when you and so many of your neighbors live in poverty. Instead if we feed our circles with some of all the unnoticed love we throw around passionately, we’d lift each other up, we’d be a part of success stories of people we’ve known, touched, laughed and hung out with, and we’d grow as a circle, and we’d all be rich and valued and cherished for what we are worth.

– Shane

Human beings

Human beings at their best are capable of sacrificing their lives for their people, seeing beauty even in suffering and death, and having the moral capacity and means to commit to protecting all of nature and all its beings expecting nothing in return.

Human beings at their worst are capable of murdering millions, raping and plundering their own, and putting the planet in grave danger greeding after money and luxury.

We have the power to be great good and great evil. We can make all the difference if our hearts are in the right place.

– Shane


Hang this on the walls of your mind to be reminded of what worry is, so that whenever worry creeps in, it’ll chase it away. Worry ruins you. It is useless. It is a whining old geezer that cripples your spirit and ability. On the bright side, it is something you can totally control if you don’t engage with it. Observe worry with humor and concentrate on what you love. If worry pushes you to get things done, I’d tell you that you would enjoy the experience of doing whatever that is and perform better, if you aren’t worried. But despite realizing all this, we can’t escape the grapple of worry when it hits. Therefore, hang this on the walls of your mind to be reminded of what worry is, so that whenever worry creeps in, it’ll chase it away.

– Shane

Search for meaning

You would find people who struggle with cancer, suffer from extreme poverty and have lost their loved ones to death smile the most beautiful smiles and have great hopes in their hearts when their days are numbered and of pain.

You would find people with secure lives, with everything money can buy and with loved ones close, be rude and in desperation looking into the skies, “Life has no meaning. What is all of this for?”.

The problem is not in the problem. The problem is not in the way the world and life are. The problem is in the heart of the seeker.
Because while some hearts can find meaning, cast away, bereft of joy, some hearts can’t find meaning even in the confines of paradise.

– Shane

The beautiful home in social media

Isn’t it sad that most of us will keep reading each other’s statuses like morning newspapers curious enough to know but not serious enough to care till the end of our lives and most of our social media groups will barely be alive as we make new friends and with newer groups, older groups will keep piling down dead just like our unfed connections and the only time the groups will be active is for exchanges of congratulations and thank you’s until after so long someday the groups will start popping messages out of the blue when one of your classmates, old friends, family or relatives die and everyone goes into nostalgia mode for two days and start wondering why we never stayed in touch (this is really the state of most 60+ adult groups).

Although it is a bit heartbreaking, atleast the people living in this time have the privilege to be connected at all times virtually and it is a privilege we don’t take seriously. Whenever you’re feeling like it, drop messages in your groups, start conversations, share content that you liked if you don’t have anything to say at the time you miss your people and an interaction might grow by itself. Maybe we should meet more often than just enjoying peeking at each other’s updates. We have the gift of being together while being apart that none of our ancestors had. Maybe we should all cherish that much more.

The family groups are like the front porches of the old houses we grew up in, chattering and celebrating the bond of a family. Everyone might have moved out of that old house now, but the group still represents the same without the furniture and the concrete settings. The school and college groups are our classrooms where we used to go out of our ways to chit-chat with our friends during lectures risking punishment and ironically now even with no teachers breathing down our necks, we don’t talk as much. For people who love each other, the virtual world offers hundreds of thousands of emojis and gifs to express feelings their bodies can’t visibly express. For people who once cared about each other, the virtual world bypasses the human ego trip that is the slayer of numerous friendships and relationships due to the hesitating and avoiding for the humiliation and rejection that can be a major slap on your ego happening face to face, wherein in this age the desperate and loving leanings of the heart from time to time can be met by an impulsive text message to that person without putting that much on the line and that can lead to fix what was broken. For people who share the same passions and aspirations and dreams and never were fortunate enough to ever co-exist in the same places, the virtual world makes them run into each other and brings them together, allows them to collaborate, to lift each other up surpassing all boundaries. For the problems of the real world, behind the enormous power of distribution of information and safety nets of the virtual world, everyone finally has the guts to speak up for what is right.

It is about time we start to see the beautiful home in social media.

– Shane

Here’s my ‘how to pose like a model’ starter pack –

1. Don’t smile or laugh or do anything of that kind. Then you’ll be relatable and more human and people will consider you one amongst them. We don’t want that. You need to have an exotic and ravishing aesthetic dominance to appear as alien and as tantalizing as possible. To accomplish this, you could begin by trying to part your lips before the camera slightly but without even the slightest curve, killing all the emotions in the happiness spectrum that can go on over there, as much until you see yourself in a cold, tough but alluring demeanour. Your manner should indicate that you’re apathetic and have zero insecurities, so that everyone looking will be compelled to fawn over and be dazzled by your casual but solid confidence.

2. The eyes are poetically described to be the windows to the soul. So make sure you have your drapes on. No one needs to know your vulnerabilities and troubles and know the mess that you are like everyone else. That’d be such a turn off. So be withdrawn and not be present and act like you don’t give a damn about this photoshoot or anything at all in life and that you’re only here for the lack of a better choice, and it will bring into your eyes an eclectic mix of seductive, dead-on-the-inside and too-cool-to-care persona that’d inform that they’re immune, wise and beyond the ordinary and all that jazz.

You could ask me, “Hey Shane, these attributes creepishly go well with that of a zombie”. Yes, exactly. Except that zombies are gross and nagging to feed all the time and that would put a dent on the seductive and too-cool-to-care factor. So imagine a chill-minded, hot-looking zombie, well-dressed or eccentrically dressed as opposed to rags if you will to paint the picture for you.

– Shane

#fun #humour #writeupcomedy