Depressive thoughts can put you on the backseat of your mind and run amok. The chatter and laughter of loved ones near you might go out of focus even though they’re right before you and truer than your thoughts. It feels like your mind is on self-destruction mode and you’re so scared for yourself, because only you realise the horror of it, since no one sees an amputated mind like they’d see an amputated arm. Kind words and counsel of friends and family come like concerned officers over the microphone giving you directions, but you’re the lone pilot of your mind, and your airplane that got ambushed by debilitating agony has been beaten up badly and is plunging to its impending tragedy. It takes a leap of faith and so much determination, for a pilot to be in the mindset to safely land a wrecked airplane. It is your time to be your hero. Your body is a living universe in itself and its people are involuntarily keeping you alive by taking most heavy machinery like circulation, respiration, digestion, and metabolism upon themselves for you to go on with life unbothered and be happy. All they ask from you otherwise is to bring food to keep the people healthy and energetic enough to do their work. On a normal day, they can propel their airplane for numerous feats no matter the weather, but now the heart is panicking, the blood is filled in fear, the breathing is shallow, you’re breathless and anxious, the body is starving because you aren’t hungry anymore and the brain is confused, agitated and launching the thoughts and feelings it shoots for creativity and innovation to kill itself, because, you, their spirit is broken. All they ask of you is to make the landing and they’ll take care of the repairs like they always do.
How to make the landing –
Find distractions. The world is such a playground that you can find distractions in every corner, if you try to focus on lighter things. Talk your heart out and laugh loudly, even if you’re not in the mood for it. Sleep away your trepidations. Say a soft prayer to help yourself find peace and company before you go to bed. The world is fundamentally good and the way it is for the best, for reasons we can’t completely understand with our reasoning capacity for our own good and we ruin it by overthinking. Maybe it is because the maker urges us to participate, contribute and thrive in our little pictures, while he governs and leads the grand picture, which is too much detailed, convoluted and complex for the comprehension of our simple minds. But be assured that the God is of love, because the heart values love the most and loves fiercely and dominantly since it inherits the virtue of love from the first and most gracious lover. I even believe that he does the mercy of not having us deal with the grand picture and lose our minds, by giving us our part of the universe and life which itself is of too much of beauty, too much to engage with, too much to learn from and protect and cherish in a lifetime. If you can’t get sleep, meditate. Appreciate the inner workings of the body that you don’t usually observe. Communicate with your inner people. Listen to their hymns of hope. The God of the universe is always more capable than the universe. Likewise, the creator of the thoughts and feelings is always more capable than the thoughts and feelings he/she generates. Garner that will and the chaos will dissolve to your command with time. If the field of vision is still monstrous, consult a therapist and take some medications to bog it down a bit. You can have all the help you want, but you’re the pilot of your mind and your people inside and outside you are counting on you to steer back to the ground. The ultimate power is with you and therefore, be on the pursuit of recognizing it when you’re in distress, and the demon in anxiety, depression and suicides will be no more.