Suffocate

Suffocate

I try to escape the pain, and I reach out for you. You have always been my therapy. I scribble feelings, at the pace, they emerge from my beating heart. I feel the pounding, leave me slowly, as your kindness comforts me. You were the voice, outside the soul, that reflected my own.

I try to escape the pain, and I reach out for you. You were there, broken, yourself. But you were always my therapy. The feelings, choke in my throat and now, nothing comforted me. I suffocate. I suffocate. I suffocate.

I stare blankly, as I slowly recede into the dark world, that I never wanted to see again. To the place, where all my thoughts were only comprised of pain. I was here before, but now, I was alone.

I look, as life frowns at me. “Why can’t I save anyone?”, I sob. “Why can’t I save myself?”, I scream. I was powerless. I was hopeless. I was soulless.

Suffocate,
– Shane
©jacintoshane

Angels among people

Angels among people

The first kind – conceited people. They have excessive pride in themselves, which works as a good asset
for them sometimes. But you will have a relationship with them until it is mutual. The moment you hurt them or put them down, they turn against you. They won’t try to reconcile
the relationship because of their ego. The bond becomes unimportant before their urge to maintain their dignity.


Let me draw you a conversation so that you can see it better.


“I’m sorry if I had hurt you. I didn’t think it would end up like
this”, I’d say.


“Like you could even hurt me. I never even cared much about
you. We may have had a good time together but now it’s over.
It is time to move on.”, he/she would say.


Well, this is most people. They’d never step down from their ego to save a dying relationship. They walk out of your life with their heads held high, not carrying guilt or regret for
banishing the memories and the bond the both of you had. They’re cold and they make the majority of people. They’re common.


The second kind – needy people. They value the bonds
they’ve nurtured more than they value themselves. They come across as sensitive and hence they’re pitied as
weak people by the bigger crowd. The moment you hurt them or put them down, they’ll fight for you. They will give in their everything to save the relationship with someone they loved.
Their dignity becomes unimportant when it comes to preserving the relationship they’ve made over the years.


Let me draw you a conversation so that you can see it better.


“I’m sorry if I had hurt you. I didn’t think it would end up like
this”, I’d say.


“It is fine. Just please don’t ever leave me. I don’t know what
I’d do without you. Please don’t leave me. Promise me that.”, he/she would say.


There are fewer people like this. Because they are putting a lot on the line. By projecting their vulnerability, they’re radiating all the immense affection they have for you,
shedding all the armours their minds had created to carry their souls in the name of pride and dignity. At that point, you can flick them with a rude response and destroy them forever.
Don’t do that to them. Because they are precious. If you have the second kind of people in your life, you are
lucky. They’re the angels among all the people you have in
your life. Don’t lose them.

– Shane
©jacintoshane

Passion

Passion

You are you for a reason. Don’t fight it. Embrace it. Every human being is built with a different structure, and have
inherent affinities to different things. When your soul tells you that this is what it loves, allow it to go after it, because the happiness that comes through that is rare and cannot be
replaced by anything else. If you’re passionate towards something but you think that you don’t have what it takes, it’s fine. When you love something so much, you’ll surely get better than most at it, even if you suck at it now. Because, there is a thing about the human soul – it never gets exhausted chasing what it loves. It will show you what you are capable of. Don’t hold it with a leash. Let it wander. Don’t worry that you’ll get lost, trust me, it’ll be worth the adventure. The most wonderful thing about passion is that, with everything else, you achieve gratification only when you get money or a materialistic outcome out of it, but with passion, the journey or the pursuit is the most beautiful. Therefore, even if you don’t receive accolades or worldly recognition, your soul will be content. So don’t grade your passion with the probability of success you can expect out of it. Success is not the bringer of joy when it comes to passion.
Because the pursuit, the process of growing up with what you love beats the high of having a million dollars in your bank account.

Broken people

Broken people

I like talking to broken people. The time, they have completely let their guard down. The time, they’re ripped off their ego, and loathing pride. I like, to see the innocence glaring inside their shy souls. The time, they’re fully exposed. No façades. No fakeness. The soul free of the worldly acquired tags. I like, the sound of their voice, breaking and cracking through every word. Their throat drying up, and stammering after every sentence. Give them your skin, when they’re exposed. Hug away, the chill in their bones. Love them deeply, and they will love you too. They’ll find faith, and see that the world is still beautiful. They’ll find faith in you.

– Shane
©jacintoshane

My love

My love

If you have so much love for someone, it will hurt when they disappoint you. So I stand close to you, hesitating to give you that place in my heart. Your thoughts and feelings for me would not matter much if we were at this distance. So I hesitate to give you that special place in my heart. Because, maybe not today, but someday you’ll let me down. Because, maybe someday I won’t be cool enough for you, once you’ve seen my flaws. Because, maybe someday you’ll get bored of me or maybe you’ll find someone better. You’ll be fine with leaving me, then. But, I won’t take it easy. Maybe the love you once had for me was true, but know that my love was always very different from yours. Because you survived, but I didn’t.


– Shane
©jacintoshane

What goes around comes around

What goes around comes around
What goes around comes around

An act of being nice and empathetic to someone goes around and comes back to you. Help someone, and you’ll be helped when you’re in need. Encourage someone and you’ll find encouragement through someone when you’re low. Be someone’s shoulder to cry on and you’ll have a shoulder to cry on in return when you feel hurt. It is just that what goes around comes around. This way, all the nice people will grow collectively with their good deeds returned to them. On the other hand, just because you’re a nice person, please don’t be nice to egomaniacs and headstrong bullies because you’re benefitting them with goodness despite the cruelty they radiate. Being treated nice should be the reward for treating someone nice. Don’t allow them to have that kind of pleasantness in their lives. Allow them to have their way and have what they deserve. Let them be jailed in the cell with the hatred they circulate and leave them to dwindle with it. Leave them to break down and then search for kindness by starting to be kind and compassionate. Give them a fate that would lead them to yearn for their redemption at some point. This way, it would only be a matter of time before the world fills with lots of beautiful people.

– Shane
©jacintoshane


Okay

Okay
Okay

Don’t strive to be great,
It is too much pressure to be with,
Strive to be okay,
Tell yourself that being okay is okay,
Okay is enough,
Do what you love and rejoice in your small victories,
Prioritize being happy and making the people around you happy,
You might even look back and realize that even great isn’t as good as okay with its entire ensemble of hearty laughs, reciprocated love and rainy days.

– Shane
©jacintoshane

Happy Endings

Car crashes have me contemplating on happy endings,
The ambitions and dreams and existence of people nullified by a sudden accident,
It brings the realisation of the fragility of the strong loving structures of the living carefully cherished and built with time,
Grand lives snatched by a matter of chance unavoidable by the natural law set in motion,
But I’m sure there is justice done to those taken prematurely by granting the provision of happy endings in other lives in different circumstances, because the universe that birthed such altruistic, virtuous beings that care this much with its essence must have a much richer soul that has the capacity to make it right for everyone in one way or another.

– Shane
©jacintoshane